God give me the strength to keep a brave face. In spite of all my worries and fears of this little guys and all he is going through, my mind is weary from it's constant racing. The pediatric Gastroenterologist needs to perfom an endoscopy on my sweet little 5 year old. Looking for a variety of things, and most importantly a more clear definition of the celiac. Although I don't understand the off chance it couldn't be when he tests positive for it on bloodwork, never heard of a false positive. But you know doctors, they seem to want to be 100% sure on everything and feels like run a million tests and labs. I am overwhelmed. We left the office in shock and worry of a procedure that doesn't sound quite like a picnic to an unsuspecting kindergartener. On top of that, sent back to the lab to stick the kid yet another time. :( This is probably Parker's 4th or 5th time having blood taken. My heart breaks that his little body has to do all of this. While I am super grateful we aren't dealing with chemo and the most horrifics of pediatric scenarios, it's hard for me as a Mom imaging how scary and upsetting for him this must be. I never once was hosptitalized as a kid, never had any severe allergies or even had any bloodwork taken until I was in high school! So for that, I am sad. I just want to get him feeling better. More waiting...more uncertainties and anxieties to brew. Praying

Parker Update

My sweet little guys. I love this picture of them. It's been a tough fall for us here at the Dwyer household. Many of you know we've been trying to come to the bottom of what has been "wrong" with Parker over the last few years. Symptoms have gotten worse this fall, and while we were grateful and treating restless leg syndrome, the result of a low "ferritin" level, this kiddo is barely able to handle just half a day of kindergarten everyday. 3 weeks ago, I received a personal phone call from the pediatrician himself verifying that Parker had antibodies in his blood test suggesting Celiac disease. Celiac disease is an auto immune disorder in which the body turns gluten into a toxin and actually causes damage to a person's small intestine among other serious complications if not treated. I can't tell you how that phone call has already changed my life. We have been waiting, researching, trying to piece this all together mean while waiting to see a pediatric gastroenterologist. We finally see him tomorrow and are anxious to start the journey of treatment and what sounds like a gluten free lifestyle for him for the rest of his life, and our household too. It's been such an emotional roller coaster for me as a Mom, the reality of feeding a kid so differently than I have for the past 5 years, and adjusting to different taste and texture of "baked" goods for all of us. Part of me is so tired of talking about it, reading about it, but it is very real for me and always on my mind. I've always been a huge baker, enjoyed gourmet cooking when I get the time.. so for me a huge challenge to relearn everything I've ever done with baking, now having to use several combinations of flours and weird ingredients to "bind" things together. Gluten has become a devil word in this house! i am finding it in everything! From frozen chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese, to tomato soup, bread, crackers, soy sauce and some salad dressings! No more donuts, cookies, McDonalds, or our favorite ordering out pizza. Chinese food is toast, although P. F. Changs..you rock. You have a gluten free menu of some tasty varieties!
Through all of this I've seemed to make a very special friend. A woman who has worked tirelessly as a chef herself with celiac studied in France for 4 months, mastering the art of GOOD gluten free cooking, no one ever knew that she taste tested her food on! (A woman after my own heart...anything french..sign me up!) Not only does she have her own cookbook but has mastered the art of making the best bread ever. If you know me well, you know I used to revel in making homemade bread and perfectly so back in the day. This is exciting for me! This woman has really reached out to me and offered to custom design any of Parker's favorite dessert for me gluten free! I am feeling such a big hug from above, a lot of support, ideas, suggestions are pouring in. Another step of faith for me as we venture down this road. I will post more once we see the new Dr. on Friday. I'm grateful we have a diagnosis and glad we caught it when we did.

Things That Make Me Smile

my ghosts!

few weeks ago..when they both were so sick, found them like this in my bed watching The Grinch

:) Grinch viewing from Mommy & Daddy's bed

back to Halloween.

this ghost got too hot..became super hero instead!:)