Trimming the Tree Trauma

Parker's placement of ornaments...

Mommy's redistribution of ornaments...

It's that time of year...the trimming of the tree. Each year, I look forward to more and more having help from a little Christmas elf that becomes more and more capable as he grows and matures. My job has always been to open each Hallmark ornament box, find a hook, find a spot on the tree and then balance it out with some other colors...all alone..So this year when Parker was old enough to handle hooks and was actually excited to help me I was ecstatic! One request for "puppy chow" was already handed in by the mister, so I thought..ah ha, what a great tradition to start. I'll make puppy chow and enjoy munching along with my little munchkin while we happily trim this sparkly tree! Little did I realize my expectations were so unreal. Of course I figured it would be a challenge to unwrap the ornaments fast enough for an impatient toddler, while keeping a 1 yr. old out of the tree. Jack was already fussy all day, growing teeth seems to take precedence these days over anything else. Dad was already on the job of assembling the greenery and soon discovered a section of the pre -lit green was not so pre- lit after all! I was at his beckon call to be of assistance and on kid duty since we both were being used for jungle gyms by both boys as we sat on the floor in the midst of this tree. Parker soon figured it would make for a fun game to play "basketball" with the tree, tossing a small ball in the branches and watching it tumble down, conveniently landing right in Dad's way. I'm fairly sure I saw some steam exiting Tim's ears....but then, finally, after rigging a butter knife into the fuse (while the tree was electrically illuminated of course) Parker threw one last toss into the tree and bam, the lights were fixed! Freakishly weird, it worked whatever he did and Jack trounced off with the butter knife in his mouth. I quickly confiscated it and thought, well this is most likely the most difficult part of the night, that's over. Meanwhile I managed to melt up my gooey ingredients for my new tradition of puppy chow and unwrap a few ornaments for Parker to put up. He licks the bowl and then decides to play in it, dumping glasses of water, napkins and such..you name it, he dumped it!I proceed on to getting things in order for the tree. Tim finishes giving Jack his night time bottle and puts him in his bed. Shortly after I hear him crying and something seems not quite right. Sure enough, he had thrown up all over his bed. I dash to the bathtub with pukey baby, wash, then dry, then turn loose to find a diaper. Meanwhile Parker is mastering the hose on the vacuum to vacuum up pine needles off the carpet when I hear from his little voice over the noise of the vacuum "Mommy! Jack is peeing on the carpet!" ..."Yes!" I exclaim.."this just makes the evening so festively wonderful! "

Unfathomable that all of this went down in just a span of one hour...but, the tree is done. And then RE DONE by Mommy. Notice Parker's ornaments seem to "hover" around the center of the tree, around his height.:) If there ever was a Griswold Christmas reality show, our family would take the prize!